Happy Holiday Horrors
by Light Derived from Darkness
Summary: Another DBZ Christmas-gone-wrong fic. The Prince of all Saiyans is forced to do some last-minute Christmas shopping for Bulma and finds that even the simplest tasks on our 'puny planet' can become very difficult...Please R&R.


**Summary: **With last minute preparations coming up, Bulma forces Vegeta to finish her Christmas shopping for her. What should have been a simple task of buying gifts of course becomes a nightmare quickly for the Saiyan prince…

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Dragon Ball Z or anything in association with it.

**_Happy Holiday Horrors_**

"I refuse to complete your task of Christmas shopping!" Vegeta declared, turning away and immaturely jutting his chin into the air like a disobedient child. Bulma growled hatefully and continue to set the enormous dining table, listening as Trunks and Bra initiated a childish game of tag out in the hallways and broke everything in their path.

"You know I can't make it out tonight Vegeta, it's Christmas Eve and we're having everyone here for dinner! You're the only one who's free; I'd ask my mom or dad to but they left to visit my relatives remember? If you don't then Trunks and Bra are going to be very disappointed to find half their gifts aren't under the tree," Bulma hissed, fixing some of the tinsel that hung around the room, "Besides, you owe it to me after last year regarding the 'Santa Claus' incident."

"How was I to know that that was your father dressed up as that asinine fairytale man?" Vegeta shot back, though eyeing the dark area in the wall that still remained from the mentioned 'accident.'

"Do you know how long it took for me to get Bra to stop crying? And to get Trunks to stop laughing? You're just lucky that the fake beard didn't fall off even with the rest of his suit was all but incinerated, or else Bra would have been heart-broken! Now take this list," she said, shoving a rather enormously long sheet of paper into his hands, "And get everything on it before the stores close! I don't ask a lot of you Vegeta, especially regarding the kids. Just do this for me, please?"  
Vegeta sighed and had a sudden desire to set their Christmas tree on fire, but he knew that wouldn't be enough to kill off a holiday. "All right, I'll buy these stupid playthings for them. But I expect never to hear of that incident ever again!"

He stomped from the room childishly, still fuming and continuously looking back to stare angrily at her. 'Hmph. My father is probably rolling in his grave right now, wherever it is. He hardly even encouraged me, let alone showered me with useless trinkets and baubles to amuse myself!'

Suddenly his eyes fell upon his two children as he looked ahead, watching them pass as Bra gave chase to Trunks, who was currently holding one of her countless dolls hostage. Vegeta sighed and rubbed his throbbing forehead, his once angered expression beginning to fall away.

'But then, Trunks does deserve something considering the training I've been putting him through, and Bra helps keep her mother company…ack, listen to me! I'm beginning to think like Kakarot! Damn you woman, you're beginning to make me soft…' he thought to himself in a bittersweet manner.

Considering the panic that usually ensued whenever they dared fly over the bustling city, Vegeta hastily borrowed one of the company vehicles and got out onto the main road, still getting used to the complicated controls of it. Bulma had taught him how to drive long ago, and his skills in it had been faltering lately.

"These controls seem similar to those loud and obnoxious video games that Trunks has managed to master," Vegeta had said, nearly swerving into a wayward pedestrian who leapt out of the way.

The mall was packed, and he circled the parking garage for nearly a half an hour before his temper finally peaked and he could no longer stand looking. He put the car into park and stomped out of it, walking over to an SUV parked right next to the elevator that would take him to the upper levels of the mall. Seizing the back fender he pried it from the ground, tossing it aside like a paperweight and then shoving the company car into its place. He grinned slightly and brushed his hands off against one another, entering the chaos that the mall had become for all last-minute shoppers just like himself.

"I won't even be able to make it to any of the stores, let alone purchase anything from them," Vegeta said, entering an already crowded elevator and finding himself wedged against the wall in a rather uncomfortable position. He growled and lived with it until the consumers one by one got off on different floors until he was alone with a single person on board the elevator.

He noticed the nervousness of the young man, becoming more and more aggravated by the moment as the man's eyes fell onto his jacket pocket where his wallet lied. "If you're thinking of doing what I believe you are, then you'll find your arm ripped off before it even makes it halfway," he hissed, and the young man automatically yelped and rushed off on the next floor.

"Coward," Vegeta muttered as he waited to get to the top floor of the mall. 'I actually would have enjoyed doing that. I almost regret having warned him…'

He stepped off onto the top floor, looking around and grimacing as two women brutally fought over the latest model of Barbie doll. He was even more worried, however, when he looked at the list and suddenly realized that Bulma wanted him to pick up the same one for Bra. She had been fawning over it lately, and it seemed the only ones leaving the store with them depended on a test of survival of the fittest at this moment.

He grinned and pressed his fist against the other open hand. "Bulma may have told me not to use my Kai powers in public, but she never said anything about physical fighting…"

He entered the store, spotting the display where the last of the Barbie dolls lied. Some parents were already fighting over them, shouting the cruelest and most vulgar of things at one another and resorting to violence that made even his stomach churn. 'I thought this was a holiday where we are supposed to be thankful for the things we have…'

He walked over, finding but one left on the shelves, hidden in the shadows of it. He reached in and grasp it, and automatically found himself involved in the struggle for what had been deemed the hottest toy of the Christmas season.

"Give me that you brute! My daughter has been begging me for that thing for months!" a woman suddenly shouted, walloping Vegeta upside the head with her purse. Normally such a meager strike wouldn't have fazed him, but he had been caught off guard and staggered forward, clutching the doll against himself as though it were a sacred treasure.

"Beat it you old bat! My daughter has wanted this for months as well and my wife won't let me hear the end of it unless I get it for her," Vegeta spat back, but when he turned and revealed what he had come into possession of, he found himself facing more than one crazed parent. A whole of mob of them stood there, looking poised to lunge at him. He hadn't faced such bloodthirsty faces ever when combating the galactic terrors they had come against in the past.

"Give us that Barbie…" it was like a chorus of zombies ready to devour his flesh, like from the horror movies that he often caught his son viewing.

"You'll pry it from my cold, dead fingers!" Vegeta declared valiantly, pivoting in the blink of an eye and running for his life towards the cash register in the back of the store. The parents pursued, attempting to halt his progress by tossing various other toys into his path. He eventually found himself hovering above the ground to avoid any resistance, and laughed to himself as he listened to the parents scream and run away after witnessing this.

'Thank God I made it this far. I hope getting the other foolish toys on this list aren't so difficult…' he thought to himself, setting the Barbie before the employee and fishing his wallet out of his jacket.

Suddenly he felt something tug on him, and turned to see a young boy standing there beside him clutching a stuffed animal. "Wow, what a cool toy! It flied and everything!"

"I am not a toy! I simply…levitated," he said, grabbing the bag off the counter and turning away, but finding the boy still grasping his jacket. "Let go of my jacket this instant!" He grasped the boy's hand, attempting to make him release his jacket so he could continue shopping.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?" came a sudden shout, and before Vegeta could get the child to let go, a woman suddenly emerged from an aisle and slammed her shopping bags against his head with all her might. He landed onto the ground with a sickening thud, his world spinning from the impact.

"Is something the matter here?" a young security officer asked, having heard the woman scream as she came at him.

"He was trying to take my baby! I saw him grabbing his hand when I came around the corner!" the mother shouted, and by this time Vegeta had managed to get back onto his feet, rubbing the bump now forming on his head.

"Sir, I need you to come with me," the security officer said, grabbing his upper arm. Vegeta turned fiercely to him and wrenched his arm away.

"I will not go with you for simply trying to get that little whelp to let go of me!" Vegeta shouted, turning and heading for the exit of the store without a second glance.

"Hold it right there!" the security officer said, attempting once again to grab his arm, but Vegeta simply swung it to the side and cast the officer against the seemingly endless shelf of toys. It toppled over under the force, and the woman screamed as the clerk called for help.

"That's the most awesome toy I've ever seen. He can fly, and fight!" the boy shouted just as Vegeta realized the trouble he was in.

He managed to outrun the swarm of security officers, attempting to keep the single thing he had purchased safe and running into the previous mob of parents once again, who began to take chase before as their fear of him subsided under the wish to have that toy.

"All this damned trouble for some insipid toys?" Vegeta shouted at himself as he took cover in a Men's room, waiting until the officers and rabid parents had once again vanished before continuing. "Now I have to keep myself low and cautious. I haven't been this hunted since back when my team and I would infiltrate rival planets and territories…"

Quietly he accumulated more and more of the things on the list, tearing them off the list one by one until a thin strip of paper was left, the last thing he needed to buy. He sighed with relief and headed towards the Radio Shack to get the IPOD that Trunks had been literally pleading for. He entered, snatching the nearest one off a shelf and quickly looking around, making sure he wasn't getting any ravenous looks from the other customers in the store, but when nothing developed he walked up to the counter, placing the IPOD onto it and pulling out the appropriate money for the purchase.

'I'm finally done, and I can finally leave this hell on earth and return to the hell I call home,' Vegeta thought happily to himself, when suddenly his temporary relief was shattered with an announcement that came over the mall's intercom in the next moment or so.

"Holiday shoppers, we are currently looking for a man who assaulted a security officer earlier, and is still believed to be in the mall. He has black hair that is gelled up into points, is wearing a blue Capsule Corporation jacket and has a short stature."

"Short?!" Vegeta automatically shouted as his pride yet again got the better of him, only to freeze with the looks he was getting from the other customers in the store. He turned to find this clerk making a phone call as well, looking at him fearfully as Vegeta attempted to keep his temper from getting the better of him.

He sprinted from the store, looking down from the balcony alongside the walkway to find the clutter of security officers currently climbing an escalator towards him. With around fifteen shopping bags wrapped around every inch of the length of his arms he ran for the elevator, praying he would make it to the parking garage unscathed and already imagining Bulma's wrath when she posted his bail to get him out of prison.

He made it into the elevator and rapidly pressed the ground level button continuously, looking up to see the officers closing it with their nightsticks drawn and ready to beat him to a pulp. The doors slammed shut just in time, and he stumbled out of the elevator and tossed his countless bags of things into the trunk, leaping into the driver's seat and backing out, preparing to leave. As he departed, he saw the owners of the SUV standing beside it with a half-horrified, half-amazed expression at what had happened to their innocent vehicle.

Vegeta pulled back out onto the highway, driving far too fast but not caring about pedestrians or stop lights or the three inches of ice on the pavement, and by the time he pulled back into Capsule Corp there was a stop sign jammed across the front of it from when he managed to skid out of control at one point, cursing the car until it pulled back up onto the driveway. He grabbed the bags once more, dragging them into the house and tossing them into the broom closet where Bulma had hide the other gifts, all wrapped and looking nice until they were buried under the newest purchases. He turned, breathing hard and wanting simply to sleep through Christmas Eve at this point.

"Vegeta, you're home! Did you get everything on the list?" Bulma asked, peering into the closet with a far more cheerful expression than earlier and then pressing a quick kiss against his cheek, noticing his aggravation. "You look worn out. Some of the others have already arrived; Goku's family even brought us some gifts. You should go and open yours; the kids and I already have," Bulma said, shoving him out into the living room.

"Hey Vegeta! Man, you look bushed. Have trouble getting those Christmas lists to Santa?" Goku said with a wink, but Vegeta merely scowled and plopped down onto an armchair, rubbing his forehead harshly as Bulma reentered with a tray of eggnog and tea.

"Every went all right didn't it Vegeta?" she asked, concerned with the angered expression on his face.

The ring and flashing of police sirens outside soon answered her question, and Vegeta groaned and slapped his hands against his face, just wanting to be struck down here and now through whatever means possible. As everyone within the room peered out the windows and Bulma looked prepared to throttle Vegeta to his end regardless of who watched, only Bra had something to offer that could make this even more awkward.

"Mommy, did daddy attack Santa Claus again?"


End file.
